Smith: It’s happening: QB draft dreams … and nightmares

Columnist Joshua Smith lays out Vikings fans hopes and fears about the QB situation this offseason

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EDITOR’S NOTE: The following is a guest column by Joshua R. Smith. He is a long-time Purple Insider subscriber and is the sports editor and a lifestyle columnist at The Frederick News-Post in Maryland. Enjoy!

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By Joshua R. Smith

They’re taking a quarterback in the first round.

Work with me to speak it into existence.

They. Are. Taking. A. QB.

It’s happening.

I’m trying hard lately to be an optimistic Vikings fan. Oxymorons be damned.

Together we can do this, people.

Based on our own eyeballs and the always reliable assertions of the mock draft community, there are too many great/good/decent options for Minnesota to mess around and not draft a Quarterback of the Future with its top pick in April.

It’s time. Past time, really. So what if the odds of having their QB pick hit are the same as a fluttering, intermediate Nick Mullens pass being intercepted.

Say it with me: It’s happening.

Ever since the Passtronaut crashed and burned, I’ve been wandering dazed in the rubble with visions of this playing out in my head. Through the smoke and detritus, I can see it so clearly. No matter which coveted quarterback they wind up selecting, destiny awaits.

Join me on this optimistic(?) odyssey. Let’s see where it goes.

Possible Purple Insider Headline No. 1: Holy Heisman! Vikings draft Jayden Daniels after mega trade with Patriots

Vikings general manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah goes full-on Wall Street, sending this year’s No. 11 pick, first-rounders in 2025, 2026, 2027, a second-rounder in 2028, draft rights to Justin Jefferson’s first-born son, Patrick Jones II and Mullens to New England to nab the uber-athletic if not alarmingly skinny Heisman Trophy winner out of LSU with the third overall selection.

Ecstasy envelops the war room in Eagan. Tears flow during the phone call between the franchise savior and his new head coach. Adofo-Mensah — ever the thoughtful, intentional GM — hands Kevin O’Connell a tissue. 

VEN videos released days later show a Wilf getting extinguished in the corner by frantic staffers after he spontaneously combusts upon the trade announcement. Hard to tell if it was Mark or Zygi and IT DOES NOT MATTER.

The Vikings have their first bonafide future star at QB since Daunte Culpepper, even though one of Daunte’s thighs was roughly the same size as Daniels’ waist.

O’Connell finally studies up on how to implement a mobile passer into his offense. He spends two weeks in June holed up with 81-year-old Rich Kotite, the former Eagles offensive coordinator who worked with Randall Cunningham in the early 1990s. 

Ideas are hatched. Hundreds of plays are scribbled on Kotite’s 1980s era overhead projector. Gallons of coffee are consumed.

And KOC leaves the summit having decided not to change a single thing with his scheme except for adding a double screen pass from Jefferson to Daniels with Jordan Addison as the lead blocker. 

But the transition goes swimmingly. Daniels and Jefferson vibe over their LSU connection. A high rate of babies across the state are being named Jayden (and also, by mistake, Jaylen). Come September, the rookie grasps enough of the offense to get the team off to a nice start. The Vikings seem to have their guy. 

It’s happening!

They are 3-3 heading into Week 7 at Green Bay. In the second quarter, the Vikings go empty set. The pocket breaks down and Daniels takes off up the middle. 

But this is where Daniels has started to separate himself. He turns on the jets, picks up 10 yards, then 15. He swerves right, then left. Then … 

CRUNCH. 

His scrawny knee is caved in on the side when Jaire Alexander launches his shoulder into the rookie’s planted leg.

Daniels is carted off. 

He has torn every ligament in his knee. He will never be the same. 

The Vikings remain mired in mediocrity until his contract expires.

When a desperate Adofo-Mensah calls after the loss in Green Bay, free agent Joshua Dobbs refuses to pick up the phone from the International Space Station.

It’s Jaren Hall SZN.

Possible Purple Insider Headline No. 2: Lefty love! Vikings take shot on Michael Penix Jr. with 11th pick in draft

Adofo-Mensah almost doesn’t pull the trigger on this fragile yet rocket-armed prospect. He’d been eyeing a trade back — and nearly consummates one with the Lions — to gain more ammunition and also to select the top middle linebacker in the class at the end of the first.

But he stays cool and rolls the dice on a less-certain prospect in Penix.

Adofo-Mensah and O’Connell beam at his introductory presser, happy to tie their reputations to a QB whose collegiate surgeries outnumber Kirk Cousins’ career playoff berths.

Soon enough, Jefferson — still without a new contract as May ends — is seen working out in Miami with Tua Tagovailoa. Vikings fans melt down because they think it means JJ is unhappy and angling for a trade south to form a receiver duo the likes of which has never been seen. 

Matthew Coller taps a Diet Dr Pepper IV and goes six straight hours on a Purple Insider podcast, trying to stanch the flames. He finally ends it after being asked for the 14th time to piechart the possible outcomes.

Turns out, JJ just wanted to catch passes from a left-hander while he was vacationing.

Once training camp rolls around, Penix’s arm becomes the talk of town. Writers liken his passing acumen and lightning release to Sam Bradford’s. 

The buzz reaches its peak one late-July morning when Penix fires a bullet over the middle toward new No. 1 tight end Nick Muse and a poof of feathers appears after the spiral obliterates an innocent pigeon that had been flying by.

Excitement abounds ahead of the Week 1 home game on Monday Night Football against Cousins and the Atlanta Falcons. Penix puts on a show. Cousins is strip-sacked once each by Jonathan Bullard and Andre Carter II. The Vikings roll, 29-19.

It’s happening!

Talking heads gush over Penix’s performance and the Vikings’ decision to wisely move on from Cousins. 

But the rookie, who had only been sacked once in the win, wakes up the next morning with unexplainable swelling. 

Later in the week, doctors inform Vikings honchos that Penix has degenerative problems with his shoulder and knee, which had both been injured twice in college.

Penix will never be the same.

Unwilling to trust either of his backups with the reins, Adofo-Mensah sends a fourth-rounder and Patrick Jones II to the Texans for Case Keenum.

But the veteran backup accidentally leaves his horseshoe in Houston.

Possible Purple Insider Headline No. 3: McCarthy mania! Vikings select national title-winning Michigan QB at No. 11

Having fallen in love with JJ McCarthy’s leadership intangibles and array of raw tools, the Vikings braintrust bets on the national champ’s ability to a develop into a franchise quarterback.

It quickly becomes apparent that McCarthy needs considerable time before taking over as the starter. In training camp, he’s pulled aside by O’Connell more than once because he won’t stop checking to running plays during 7-on-7s.

However, the team clearly takes to him. Players rave about the young man’s magnetism. Purple Insider writes a feature about how, in McCarthy, the Vikings see a version of Teddy Bridgewater.

The initial plan for 2024, though, is to have McCarthy sit behind Nick Mullens so the rookie can learn how to run the offense and also how not to throw most passes in the NFL.

That plan lasts five weeks. After Mullens goes for single-game franchise records in passing yards (501) and interceptions (seven) in a 38-30 loss to the Lions, O’Connell announces the switch to the rookie.

In McCarthy’s first start, O’Connell protects his QB with a conservative gameplan. The Vikings seize a 14-10 road win over the Titans on the back of Ty Chandler, who rushes for 98 yards on 41 carries.

But O’Connell dry heaves Monday while watching the tape and simply cannot stick to those tendencies two games in a row. So, the next week, he takes off the kiddie gloves.

McCarthy shines. He pilots flawlessly, making quick reads, getting the ball to his playmakers, nimbly avoiding pressure, throwing dots on the run. And he does it at Soldier Field, stunning the previously undefeated Bears and Caleb Williams, 27-17.

It’s happening!

Everything appears ahead of schedule. That Thursday at practice, McCarthy takes an innocuous snap. Nothing abnormal. But, in the process of this run-through play, right guard Ed Ingram inadvertently steps on the quarterback’s foot as the two simultaneously pull back. 

McCarthy goes down in pain. A heinous scream pierces the air. It comes from O’Connell. 

Concerned teammates immediately look away when the severity of the injury becomes apparent.

McCarthy is rushed to a hospital, his foot having been dislocated grotesquely.

Doctors say he will never be the same.

In an attempt to salvage the season, Adofo-Mensah sends a second-round pick, a third-round pick, Lewis Cine and Andrew Booth to Dallas for quarterback Trey Lance.

But Lance proves to be nothing more than a bad Tarvaris Jackson imitator.

Meanwhile, under defensive coordinator Mike Zimmer in Dallas, Cine and Booth flourish into standout defensive backs who contribute to the Cowboys’ return to prominence as 2024 Super Bowl champions.

Possible Purple Insider Headline No. 4: Roar restored! What can the Vikings learn from Lions’ 2025 Super Bowl title?

At this point, it’s probably apparent that Vikings optimism suits me about as well as all that bling suited Kirko Chainz.

Regardless, you might be wondering what happened in the draft with Bo Nix.

In every scenario, he slips to the second round, where the Lions select him as Jared Goff’s successor. 

Nix sits for a year, takes over when Goff leaves in free agency — then leads Detroit to its long-awaited first championship in 2025.

Oh, yes. 

It’s happening.

If you are reading all of this and think the journey through nightmare scenarios is bizarre and twisted, then you probably aren’t a Vikings fan. This has been the reality — flashes of hopes and dreams quickly dashed.

Yet as we stand here again with this beleaguered franchise facing a decision at quarterback, to quote Michael Scott, I’m ready to get hurt again. Do your worst, Vikings. I’d rather have hope and heartbreak than going back down the same road. Nightmare over nowhere.

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