Murphy: That escalated quickly

After a fumble-happy loss, Brian Murphy writes that the Vikings look like they are on the ropes already

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By Brian Murphy

Whoa and 2 is a hell of a way to start an NFC North title defense, but here are your 2023 Vikings, flat on their backs, staring up a jagged vertical cliff with their pride bloodied and hands caked in grease.

It only took five days for Minnesota to find its season in intensive care, thanks to seven – SEVEN! – turnovers and a revamped defense that is gasping for oxygen.

Incredibly frustrating yet completely deserved. This kind of slop don’t sell, no matter how hard you fight for four quarters, no matter how domineering you can be in garbage time.

It’s pretty simple. Don’t waltz into the home of the defending conference champions and expect to steal a much-needed win because everyone says you must. To paraphrase Gary Gaetti, it’s hard to defy the odds and recalibrate expectations with both hands around your throat.

For the second time in 12 months, the Vikings visited Philadelphia in Week 2 and were humbled after a 34-28 loss that left them winless in the standings but dominant in giveaways.

“Very deflating,” said wide receiver Justin Jefferson.

The Vikings couldn’t rise to the occasion because they couldn’t hold onto the ball.

To complement their generosity, they couldn’t run the ball, either. Nor could they stop the run, as the Eagles gashed them for 259 yards and three touchdowns on 48 carries.

Never mind a clock to measure time of possession. It was Eagles: Franklin Roosevelt, who spent 12 years in the Oval Office. Vikings: William Henry Harrison, who died a month after his inauguration.

The Vikings have played terribly in starting 0-2. But they have looked even worse doing it. And the timing is awful.

Justin Herbert and the Chargers are no picnic coming to U.S. Bank Stadium next week. Looming in October are the defending Super Bowl champion Chiefs, the stacked 49ers and the resurgent Packers.

This could become a funeral march before we turn the clocks back and I’m struggling to find exculpatory evidence.

The offensive line was a liability in training camp. Now it’s dystopian. In the fourth quarter, tackle Oli Udoh was carted to the locker room with a knee injury that appears devastating. Minnesota’s offensive line depth is down to the marrow, with starters Christian Darrisaw and Garrett Bradbury already sidelined with injuries.

Poor luck is not enough to cover for the systemic failure that has plagued this unit for years. Solutions are hard enough to find in the offseason let alone September.

Minnesota has been physically manhandled, not just in their two losses to Philly and Tampa Bay. The Giants also mauled them in January’s wild-card letdown.

Wins and losses are black and white. They define and humble you. Optics are about emotions. They shape expectations and can offer hope in various shades of gray.

This? This is a black hole, with ball-security drills and pine tar the order of the day, And it might be too late for a revival. Since 1990, only 11.5 percent that start 0-2 hammer and tong their way into the postseason.

After a three-turnover pratfall at home against the Buccaneers, the Vikings responded by giving it away four more times against a team that feasts on visitor mistakes.

Brandon Powell fumbled a punt return deep in Philadelphia territory. Alexander Mattison fumbled a nanosecond after the Vikings forced a much-needed turnover. Udoh allowed Josh Sweat to blow past him, bury Kirk Cousins and force a fumble. The Eagles leveraged that into a touchdown two plays later, the beginning of the end to an unforgiving night for Udoh.

Finally, with the Vikings poised to punch in the go-ahead touchdown in the second quarter, Justin Jefferson fumbled trying to stretch the ball over the pylon – the second time in as many games Minnesota turned it over at the goal line.

Holster those pitchforks. Yeah, the touchback rule is ticky-tack, punitively penalizing an offensive player for trying to score.

But the NFL has always been an overly litigious cartel that practically speaks Latin. These are table stakes. It’s not illegal to hold onto the ball. Or run it.

Cousins was fantastic again with 364 yards and four touchdowns on 31 of 44 passing. Jefferson flew around the field to post another 159 yards. And rookie receiver Jordan Addison, that dude can ball after hauling in his second touchdown catch in as many NFL games.

But nine carries and 28 yards is not a rushing attack. It’s a prime-time walk-through. The turnovers and deficits are taxing Cousins, who, despite his productivity, is a dead man walking in that porous pocket.

“You don’t want to have to play (a drop-back) style against them,” said Vikings coach Kevin O’Connell said, “especially when you’re turning the football over.”

As Philadelphia failed to put this one away early, the Vikings were playing with house money throughout the first half, hanging around like Mike McDermott in Teddy KGB’s bunker. But they had no idea how to spend it.

Now they get to spend the next 10 days fending off creeping self-doubt as the fan base wallows in familiar self-loathing.

This has gotten really ugly, really quickly. The honeymoon is over for O’Connell and the credit card bill is overdue.

Time to see how the second-year coach manages his first adult serving of adversity.

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