Murphy: Buckle up baby, Vikings football is back
Brian Murphy writes that this Vikings season could be a wild ride again
By Brian Murphy
Never mind having fun this Vikings season. Perish that thought lest you get torched again by unfulfilled expectations.
Oh, sure, 2023 will be filled with searing drama, unrivaled entertainment and exhilarating moments in Minnesota and elsewhere. The NFL’s betting slips and television ratings drip gold as owners and overlords continue fracking revenue from every rock.
But you can forget about basking in the unbridled joy and you-gotta-be-fricking-kidding-me fever dreams that defined an unlikely 2022 season Vikings faithful will remember forever.
Thirteen hair-raising victories, including a record 11 by one score or less.
Fantastic finishes and plot twists that would be laughed out of writer-less Hollywood, which isn’t producing anything beyond artificial intelligence.
Heroic performances by a potential hall of fame receiver and lounge act quarterback who is redefining his career by the week.
An unflappable first-year head coach who galvanized a fractured locker room and unleashed his merry band of playmakers to turn water into wine.
Enough shared memories of double-doinks and J.J.’s divine grab and campfire stories about Greg Joseph’s Christmas Eve miracle and 11th hour comebacks to fill a lifetime of wondering what might have been -- if Kirk Cousins had thrown past the sticks on fourth-and-8 against the Giants.
The fates rarely align like that. They almost never give an encore.
Keep that in mind when the roller coaster leaves the platform Sunday at U.S. Bank Stadium, when the Vikings play host to Tampa Bay and embark on their 63rd quest for an NFL championship.
The Vikings should be good. Perhaps not good enough to defend their NFC North title and fend off upstarts in Detroit and Chicago. But good enough to keep us frothing through the holidays.
Las Vegas has them pegged for 8 ½ wins. Kings of mediocrity and indecisive as it gets.
Bet on it being another grind. John-and-Yoko-level primal scream therapy.
Likely a better defense guided by new coordinator Brian Flores, who allegedly is going to unleash fire and brimstone for the hot mess of a unit that lost four games last season by an average score of 35-13.
Backing an unpredictable offense that boasts homegrown Justin Jefferson, who may be fitted for his gold jacket in Canton before getting a contract extension, and tight end T.J. Hockenson, who was signed to a 1-percenter deal after arriving here, like, 20 minutes ago.
One still being led by Cousins, the 35-year-old lame duck who finally looks like he’s hunting bigger game under the whispering wing of coach Kevin O’Connell.
We keep writing and bull-horning that next season will be Cousins’ defining moment as one of the most tantalizing and confounding quarterbacks in recent history. But 2023 really is that moment.
Will the fourth-round afterthought and postseason ghost fill that lonely Lombardi Trophy case at his Inver Grove Heights home and retire someday as the only Vikings quarterback to win one?
Or will he do just enough to leave you demanding more and drift out of Minnesota as a free agent, rescuing O’Connell and general manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah from the No. 8 money pit and liberating them to choose and mold the signal caller of their choice?
Regardless, Cousins’ transformation from checkdown huckleberry to alpha baller has been remarkable to watch in a market that considers self-loathing a virtue.
His star-making turn as the relentlessly tough, bling-dripping chieftain in the “Quarterback” miniseries did more to shatter Cousins’ image as an oblivious underachiever and cast him as an introspective warrior than any of his hollow victories or statistical surcharges.
You could practically hear his ribs cracking via Netflix’s microphones last year when another hulking defender T-boned the defenseless quarterback. You witnessed Cousins conquer the locker room by moaning and willing his way back to the huddle to lead another improbable comeback.
Grudging respect or not, Cousins has leveraged a lucrative career out of blissful indifference and shrewd marketing that has him wearing fake mustaches on Mondays and delivering locker room speeches which are part Knute Rockne, part Dale Carnegie.
Don’t look now but Cousins is about to surpass Daunte Culpepper for third-most regular-season starts in Vikings history behind Tommy Kramer and Fran Tarkenton. That’s monument territory.
Only if Minnesota’s offensive matadors drop their red capes and block some of these snorting bull rushers. Or Cousins will be moaning about more than his tenderized ribs.
If their defense can at least rise to middling, it will be another cockfight through January, after the schedule makers decided it’s all fun and games until you face the NFL’s reigning final four.
Zesty home dates with Super Bowl champion Kansas City and fearless San Francisco would be heavy lifting enough without the Vikings having to travel to Cincinnati and Philadelphia, which is always hell with the lid off.
At least fans can drop out in the desert for a lost December weekend in Vegas. Was never a devotee of “The Walking Dead,” but I’ll get a good look while thousand-yard staring through security that Monday morning at Harry Reid International.
Christmas Eve hosting the Lions, followed by the open bar U.S. Bank Stadium becomes New Year’s Eve against the Packers, and a season-ending trip to Motown should decide the division race, unless the Bears crash the party.
The next 18 weeks will be compelling, controversial, irritating and exhilarating. Social media will be set ablaze every Sunday. Gasoline added Monday. Mainlining narratives by Wednesday.
No better unscripted product in the viper pit of American entertainment.
But it won’t be like 2022. Well, you can believe that if you want to.
As for me, I’ve been around this town long enough to spot a head-on collision coming in slow motion. Fatalism runs marrow deep.
We’re back to stacking bricks for four months of emotional labor and guzzling everything neat.
First off, Murph is a fantastic writer! my goodness!
Are my expectations for a losing season pure minnesota or just realistic? they have nothing on D, even if they should show improvement just by replacing last years meek play callers concepts. massive questions and youth at corner, and linebacker. and who is stopping the run and getting to the qb up front? Danielle Hunter is but one man…
the offense, even w all the names, was not really that great last year. will they be improved after the jettisoning of some fan favs who we were comfortable w but were def not the players they once were? re-signing our backup running back for a full time roll. bringing in a stick like rookie wr and a mommoth blocking te? a marketing job for the ages “prop up” of a career long .500 qb will quickly be forgotten when the first handful of statue like sacks and conservative decisions reminds us of the reason kirk is just a guy. are we really sold on koc as a good coach after last yr? i mean he had some fantastic luck, an ez slate of opposing qbs, as well as some unforgettably questionable and ill timed playcalls that still leaves me unconvinced.. oh, and ya know greg joseph is gonna be shakey at best…all that said, i will be watchin every minute w high hopes and big dreams.. cuz, like Murph so eloquently says, who doesn’t love the nfl rollercoaster ride? but mostly bcuz damn, i love my team…. 🙂
Reality sets in, 2023... 9-8.